Twist of Fate.

that one saturday sure was eventful.

i didn't know why sparks of fury had ignited, which i never intended for,

but yet without it i wouldn't have met him.

it definitely had been a once in a lifetime adventure with Dmitri, and Terrence too.

all the food, walking, gift-giving, and of course, his funny faces.

as fun as it had been, so had those days been stressful.

i had two papers to settle, one of which i just started studying for at midnight, hours before the paper.

as fun as it had been, so has it brought much sorrow.

i don't really want to elaborate,

but i've got no time and no strength to lose thinking about it.

settle the last two papers, and that's it.

and oh yes, Europe here i come. someday, that is.



a fresh headstart.. where do i begin..


Fight for what you love. Strive for what you want. Don't cling onto people if you can't commit. If you really love that person... then do what's best for him/her. - local poet. very true indeed.

Eclipse.

nothingness was bad enough.

scarring back the hands that loved you is too much.

there is only one me, one facade,

you know that.

i love you so much to even pose a negative judgement about you,

which, at this stage, has already never ever crossed my mind.

i still care, even though you're so far away;

why would i even bother speaking evil of you?



i gave you my blessings,

my possessions,

my every form of permitted expression, of my affection,

my prayers, everyday,

for you to better seek your best interest from above,

and not for me to be misunderstood.



Surely there are guidelines to how relationships should work out,

but as it is stated above, it may not happen all the time to everybody.

i didn't choose to care in a way that is more of a friend yet less of a lover.

because of who i am, i'm just a different hybrid altogether.

even so, some think it's perfectly normal.



i'm not here to debate on how relationships are to be like;

i doubt the chances of renewal will sprig forth from the dead, or dying.



the truth of the matter is, it ain't only your spouse who needs to know the truth of your life.

your heart, your emotion, your thoughts, your dreams, you.

the truth of you is required when you reach out to the lost, in the form of a testimony.

the truth of you is required when you try to help someone, in the form of life experiences and realistic encouragements.

the truth of you is required when you preach the gospel to the world, revealing the reality of God and the light that is reflected from you.

the truth of you is required to keep a relationship alive, for nobody lives in the past, and sees nothing in the future if one does not know the present you.

the lack of truth in times of need will stumble many, for His people are destroyed from this void.

truth is eternal, complete, and brings life and light.

likewise, without it, anything is left as a temporal, dead residue in the midst of darkness.

to love, is to live in truth.

because love is truth.



like precious diamonds and the purest of gold, may you pursue truth,

cherish, grab hold of it, and not let go.



it's a weird world.

eclipses don't usually happen, but they still do.

Table for One.

it's been so long since we've talked.

face to face, over a restaurant table, or anything of the similar sort,

nice cosy ambience, pretty good food,

enjoyed your presence, i've always did.

talking about issues of life, of the heart,

of the past, present and future,

we knew each other well.

it was a good balance; neither side was over-familiar nor clueless about each other.



days, weeks, months and years passed.

an empty seat always daunts right in front of me as i stop and stare.

a reservation for two, usually left for one,

time goes so much slower, painstakingly breathless.

seated by the window, along the shopping aisle,

people walk pass; they come and they go.


i'm glad that life is going on an upslope for you,

with new friends, brothers, and a better knitted family,

who cares for you, and possibly understands you better.

how you want your social life, how you manage it, it is your prerogative,

unless you ask for an opinion, i'd say no one can do anything to change it.


i close my eyes, shut from this world,

i see myself, and i say "maybe it's just better that way."



many things resign to history,

but yet my conviction to you, will stand for eternity.

people question if such a will could really last,

but i believe that my heart has already died to seal this covenant back then.



nothing will change my love for you,

not even the warmth that i long to give as well.

go, and live your life a happy man,

taking into consideration of relationships as a whole, above the rights which you once had.

you're a child of God; a servant who esteems others above oneself, careful with words, and an open lamp to all.

yet again, this calling is to be lived out with a matter of choice at hand.

may the truth abide in you, and you in it.



whenever you need me, i'll be there.

a promise that i've made,

and i'll never take back.

no matter how small and unworthy to be with you, i'll do whatever i can,

to be your best friend.