Heart-cuffed.

I'm a contradiction, just like everyone else.

i dare to be bold to say, simply because i'm a victim of love just like you.

the people in whom are involved may be different for each and everyone of us, together with personalities and perspectives, but one thing we can all see in unison - love hurts.

to fend off hurts and pain with one's life; to shed blood, sweat and tears to protect you; to give you all of one's heart, together with everything else to support you. the meaning of the chinese character for love.

even if things will never work out between us.
even if it requires inconvenience and sacrifice from me.
even if everything that i've done is useless or insignificant.
even if there is no supposed "mutual chemistry".
even if we're to be just normal friends forever.
even if it's not worth any bit of me.

i'll not regret loving you.

but even if you'd know how much i really mean when i actually say this, what use is there?

it's not as though you're gonna do something about it. even if you can't it's ok. one cannot love to order.



the need to keep to all that i've said, is somewhat killing me.

the hurt exacerbates when i have to deny myself, impossible dreams and wishful hopes.

the hurt exacerbates whenever i'd have to be strong for you to depend on.

the hurt exacerbates when i have to wish the best for you, when it's the end for me.


love is asking whether you want or you do not want.
love is asking whether you're willing or not.
simple as that.
if ever for a moment you think that someone is not worth your love, think again.
cuz i ain't any worth it either.

a mutual want and will. keep it simple, to keep it alive.

take care, pal.
an honour to be yours too.

Phase Shift.

It's been so long, since we've caught up..

But these few days, have been somehow, inexplicably great, despite the exhaustion.

i felt open, and happy too.. i guess i've missed this part of me for a really long time. hope it's the same for you.

As i was with you, memories flooded my mind, slide by slide, piece by piece.. the times we had together back then.

but i know that things are different now.. i'm glad that you're alright and well taken care of, of course. Killed worry and grudges too. i guess things tend to complicate and mess up when there hadn't been communication.

Thanks. for everything. i'm saying this, because of the time you gave. very few, if not none, would accompany a friend like you did for me. i roughly could see your love language too. sigh. this, i wonder, why it took me so long to see.. yet again, somehow one becomes more alert and sensitive to the quiet and the discreet when he has no love to begin with.

the pain, somehow soothed out, and faded away. the joy and excitement in our friendship, that i thought was lost, came back again.

yet, staying at this phase, could be slightly discomforting.

deep inside i yearn to embrace you tight in my arms, and i in yours, but i was afraid.

maybe this distance is a good, the better way for you and me to be? though i'm not sure, i just wanna let you know that my shoulders are open for you always, whenever life gets too tough, whenever you need to rest.

*3 days later*

Sorry i'm taking too long to post this -_-

hmm.. it can be hard to accept the fact that one's love may not be suited for another.. but straight to the point: just move along till you find the right one!

One thing i got from today's service - This life of love that we live hurts, but one thing to know and understand, is that i have loved a free man, and have loved as one.

yes.. no regrets.. no more whining.. phase shift to the higher level..