Into the Semi-finals. Oh Yea.

The last preliminary match today for the team was really exciting man.

The China team won the coin toss and chose to draft first. sure put us into a disadvantage for we always loved the luxury of choosing what we want first. No matter though, we still settled for our comfortable heroes and squashed them flat.

We heard lots of sexy moans alright.

Bras, implants and paddings can be found lying all over the creep camps. HAHA.

they had AkashA, LunA, and a LinA. so they went "Ah!! Ah!! AHHH!!!"

ok anymore of this and it'll be a sick blog already >.<

thanks alot Hong Jie! xD



Damn. Broke my glasses while i was washing them WTH.

oh well. it has served me well for a good 2 and a half years. time to look for a new partner for my pair of eyes. -_-



oh yes. the doctor was a sadist also. fiddled with liquid nitrogen and impaled the wart with the sub-zero cold cotton bud. yea and all i could say was "ah~"..



there goes all my pay. sigh.

ok back to class mode. blog later.

Dash.

I have been reading blogs recently, for i do not have much of time and energy to blog haha.. i'm just plain sick.


But anyway, Mr Heng never fails to inspire.

A poem i've read, about the dash of life.

really, what matters in this lifetime is not the cars, cash or houses.

it's the things we want to change for the better, for all and yourself.

thinking is one thing.

thinking about what you think is another.

and doing something about what you've thought is yet again another issue.

you can't think love. you communicate it.



i wanna change the worlds of my loves ones only for the better.

i'm gonna do my very best to do so.

i'm gonna be practical, precise and down-to-earth.

true and faithful at heart, clear, understanding and wise in mind.

acceptive, simply me.

this, is love. (not trying to promote Nike here)



Have a good day to all..

Tattoo.

*Names have been pseudo-ed for confidentiality.



Coincidence brought my long lost friend back again. I met Edison on the train as i was out; both of us were on our way to church. though i was very much happy to see him, we couldn't talk much for he had to alight at the next stop after the one which i just boarded.





Truly coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. something was troubling him deep down inside. i could see it in his eyes. i didn't know what to say to him for several days until tonight.



He read my Apr 13 post. and i could just sync myself with him almost completely.



Edison. a superbly nice guy, who loves his buddy very much. Despite the changes, distance and busyness of life, he's always trying his best to love unconditionally, to give to her everything he could possibly offer. He's doing everything he can to keep things the way it has used to be. yea. used to be.



Edison's wearing out. this love is just consuming him. tired, vexed, confused, and the worst battle ever - the internal war between giving up and giving more, selfishness and selflessness, self-protection and self-sacrifice. but all he gets is indifferent responses, ignorance, the cold shoulder. yea we're talking about unconditional love yes, but seeing this situation i cannot deny the fact that it hurts so much more to fight against the selfish thoughts of anger and frustration. feels like pressing my heart against a bed of spikes.



Japheth has new friends in her new school now. very nice friends. i guess she would've realised by now that she is drifting away from Edison very quickly; maybe she doesn't feel the same way as how Edison felt towards her in the first place. she's just too busy for him. the truth of the matter is, Edison loves her more than the other way round.



It happens. i guess that's just life is it?


But we have to understand that her ice-cold, or possibly even negative responses, are probably unintentional. i only say this because my pal has been very honest with me. i truly appreciate it.



she feels so disgraceful, so sorry, for Edison, because she doesn't even feel this "buddy" way.



Sigh. is this the end of the few years of camaraderie?



Shouldn't Edison and i be super good buddies, since we have such similarities?



Immediately an answer came, saying that if we were to be good buddies, we won't even be talking like this, about this today. We're very much similar in personality and stuff, but i believe we are meant for different people? purposed to be someone's pillar of strength, the living proof of God's goodness and greatness in their lives?



People have told us to give up. not to do anything anymore. just care for yourself. but Edison and i just can't.

If you, Japheth, ever get to read my blog, would you take some time off, quickly settle the other issues of life, and think about what you want to do about this? i know he definitely means something to you, and it's just that it's different from the new people you have in your life; it could be flow, chemistry and personality matches. but what position do you want him to stand in your life? it's not going to be an easy answer, because there is so much to consider, to think about. you've got more homework, extra stuff here and there, more new friends to integrate and know better, but the same 24 hours. the same amount of money. time ain't gonna extend itself, neither is money gonna multiply in your wallet.



to expand one's capacity is not easy. not easy at all. yes it's really great to have someone who loves you so much, though you don't feel exactly as much or the same as him, but it's also very nice to have found mutual bonds, somehow bringing out a more natural flow.

can you have the best of both sides you ask?

i think the question should be: "do you want the best of both sides?" it's not a matter of selfishness. either way you'll be saying that you want something, so yea. are you able to strike a balance between all your friends and Edison? Apart from the fun and joy, do you still want to keep the one who brings you guidance and peace serene?

one thing is for sure. if you truly love, you would commit. it's really more than just maintaining a connection. As to what extent, the heart shall reveal itself once again.

i don't know entirely how you feel about this, but Edison means what he says. he unconditionally loves, and doesn't demand anything back. no matter what the outcome is gonna be, his heart lies a mark, a tattoo of your name on it. no matter how far you go, his heart will always have room for you. He is a very strong person trust me, but if God had placed both of you together in the first place, i pray that this bond will be blessed till eternity.

two buddies, going through different tough times, but having to learn the same thing - expanding our capacity and being strong-willed.

Daddy God, i pray that as soon as the hustling clouds fade away, restoration will blossom once again. yes, when much is given, much is required, but let both persons be willing to walk the second mile, and embrace the bitter-sweet taste of Your love once again. God bless Edison and Japheth.

dear pal, thanks for sharing with me what you've been going through all this while. be it the good times or the bad. without understanding you i will never have the courage or strength to fight against the temptation of self-centredness, even to have a clearer picture of what you're facing.
the wait is long, unbearable at times, but i thank God for patience. i'll wait for you, for i believe and trust in you. i'm praying for strength, wisdom and love to be upon you everyday, that you may do the ordained and necessary things without burning out. i pray that your relationships in your family, with your bros and friends will go no lower but only better, managing it with tactfulness, balance, but most importantly love. i thank God for you once again, because you helped my friend in this period of tough times. Thank you.

in Jesus' name i pray, Amen.


Life - Love = 0

Brain-lag.

once again my brain lag is giving me some problems.

can't seem to register things immediately when i should.

not just in cliche stuff, but in relationships too.

that kinda pissed people off, and all i can say to myself is that i really gotta upgrade my RAM.

sorry for the trouble caused to a few recently.

hopefully back to normal.

a normality that i yearn to breakthrough.

First Week.

Phew. the first week of school had ended. more adventurous days to come. Yup, adventurous indeed.

It's nice to be in my new class, in my perspective haha.. not because i am class rep, but because majority of the people are spontaneous in integrating together! it's really heartwarming because at least i didn't feel awkward for once. -_- i have to thank Lishi, Ee May, Angela, Spencer and Rachel (though she'd transferred out during the last minute =/) for supporting me too haha. Now i truly know that being a class rep ain't easy too. =O

My new class is cool man. very nice people hehex.. easy to communicate and flow too. i'm the SHORTEST guy in class again. -_- but oh well, i'll just work harder to be nine feet tall on the inside. =X

I've got a really cool Personal Tutor too! Mr Howard Yap is one of the younger and more understanding teachers in SP, and he's definitely much more active than *ahem ahem* (but it's ok -_- what's past is past; moreover, he's really senior so give him a break. Guess who HAHA.)

So much unsaid and untold have happened over the first quarter of the year. Yea man, First Quarter already. and to think time moves so slowly when i work.

only several months left with my JC friends, before they set off to NS. Pal too. i'll really miss them.. though i'm telling myself to find time for them, i guess it's just not happening; it's A Levels, and i have to work and school too. there's only a limit to the number of lessons i can skip zzz.

i just want to give them the best year yet. this year. birthdays, competitions etc., i'd give my best of support and help to make dreams come true, and feel loved too.

apart from this, i understand that a new class means expanding my capacity, my social circle too. i'm definitely open to true blue friends (in whom i think i have found a potential one o.o), where we can mutually depend on. not just for now, but for the rest of our lives. though a few kinda screwed up, cuz they couldn't accept me for the way i am (or was), i'll just let go and move on.. it hurts, so i shouldn't be dumb to cling onto it!

Damn my fever is still there. when is it going to dissipate. -_-

*rests like a pig for once, after so many nights of little sleep, hugging Teddy close to heart*

Chemistry.

I just read Hong Jie's blog, and his latest entry..

somehow what he talked about made my mind churn even more. -_-

There's more to it than just chemistry in relationships.

yea that's very true isn't it? i mean, love is of the will, and not just the emotion..

but has anybody felt the emotion coming after you've made a choice to love? for my case, i'll have to say yes. it's really miraculous how i have been surged with loving emotions after i have made my choice to do so. come to think of it, i've never ever expected this to happen. at all. love is such a powerful force, that without proper management, you will just be overwhelmed.

there were many times when my eyes were caught with physical appearances first (but they always never worked out for me), but after this will-emotion experience, it just affirms in my heart that beauty really lies in the eyes of the beholder. somewhat seemingly this person was just a plain, normal, non-significant person. but after a choice made, lasting even till now (hopefully forever of course), the person just becomes more and more beautiful, attractive, charming. Delayed infatuation? i don't think so.. maybe it's the revelation of the one deep down inside, so much so that it exudes out of the person so ever brightly.

my chances with chemistry are VERY bad i feel. totally inexplicable. Sigh.

do you leave chemistry to chance, waiting for a double coincidence, or make it happen?

i guess each has equal success-failure rates.

i wish all you guys the best in all your relationships too! >.<

ok i'm so gonna get a fever if i don't rest now.

so many things to do! so many hours of work to commit!

ARGH JIA YOU! >.< you guys jia you too...

when emotions run dry, the will of love takes over.

They got it right. Yea man.

Exciting match today indeed.

Once again Ivan and Hong Jie pulled it off against team Lignum with a staggering 34-7.

Shem had a tough time apparently because he was not used to being in Scourge LOL.

but anyway they managed to come up with a literally unstoppable draft - i guess unconventional heroes are not really advised in draft matches, unless you have some fool-proof way of executing the combo o_o

didn't get to talk much after that, as everybody quickly boarded their buses home before they possibly got drenched in the rain.. i ended up taking a one hour trip home alone, wet and sick.. haiz.

how to go to the gym on thursday? i need to catch up on physical exercise, no matter how busy i am.

looks like i'm going alone i think. Pal's got a new gym partner, so i think i'll have to do this on my own. (damn i just hope i don't have to resort to toning exercises) On top of that, he's got PE on thursday and NAFTA on saturday; i think it's best that i don't bother him and give him ample rest for his test.



oh damn. deep in thoughts again.

my mind never seems to rest.

anyone wants to gym with me then? thursday afternoon =/ if no response then of course it's gonna be a solo workout for me.
bah i'll be fine. just hoping that the barbell won't come crashing down on my face LOL.

if you want to be with someone, then enjoy every moment of it. be it in sorrow or in joy, the most important thing is that it leaves a smile on your face in the end.
don't make the same mistakes as i did =/ even though you may be feeling down, sometimes you really still have to try to prepare your heart, calibrate your mind and attitude. you don't want to be releasing your problems in the wrong manner, because a bad move will leave more scars.

one, which is the problem, is bad enough. try your very best not to incur more. address the issue, and not the person you're talking to. a kind listening ear doesn't owe you anything; it's the other way round dude.

Daddy God, i pray for the strength to carry on each day. it's burdensome, but help me to thank You just as much, every minute every second.

dear pal, i need a listening ear again.. i miss the strums of your guitar too.

OK I'M ALL GEARED UP!

CHSA DOTA CHALLENGE HERE WE GO!

Lone. Enigmatic. Ambivalent.

Time has passed so quickly.

So much has happened.

Yet there is so much more to be ahead.



Looks like this post is inevitable.



My holidays have officially ended, when the minute hand struck midnight. Looking back into my life, i did a review through my mind on my way home from work. It's pretty much necessary to keep you in progress i think.

Some situations have changed, yet some have not. those around me have found new people, new loved ones to care and feel for. i did meet some new friends too, but things are still pretty much the same. Physically alone almost 24-7 literally. Sometimes i feel lonely, yet sometimes preoccupied by intentional distractions, or drowning myself into otiose music. Really, crowds don't dispel loneliness. only a heart of love can.

Isn't it nice when you have another person to hang out with, to play around, to work out, to think about at night, and just simply enjoying being with each other? Definitely feels wonderful. Seeing the ones that matter to me like this makes me feel at rest at least.

I'm really over jealousy. Haha really really. I've had my good times together too. Of course i hope for new love, and revived, proactive, lovely relationships, but i need to understand my basis of survival. Love is one thing, but survival is another. I've been living life financially independent and without a sugardaddy, or at least a responsible father; i ain't gonna let affairs of the heart bring me down. I can't. Mum needs me, and i have an eternal bond, a contract, to serve her till she leaves me.

Things may never turn out the way you want it to be, but i'll just accept it, and keep trying.



I think i've changed, and yet in some ways not either. well change is the only constant in life, yet also, what hurt leaves behind is nothing but permanent scars.

Talking about being weird. i think to find someone who could really love me deeply for the way i am is super duper hard to find. =/ Someone already mentioned that no words can describe me, which makes me complex i find.

a few things i know. i'm scarred. not just physically, but deep down inside too. though it doesn't really affects me, i find that it's just natural that people will be hesitant to approach you, and to be carefree with you. though i broke through from loving people beyond how they look like, i won't be expecting everyone else to do the same. not that i'm super ugly or what; it's inexplicable.

awkwardness becomes common when you hang out with a childhood-deprived acquaintance you know. trying to buck up on it seriously, so you guys will feel more comfortable, especially in joke-cracking.



Ambivalence. oh life is full of contradictions indeed. especially when it comes to the issue of fair or unfair love. true love is allowing yourself, literally, to be taken advantage of at your expense, the magnitude which affects you can be very devastating even.

"oh it's just not fair! he/she's always taking advantage of me" yadayadayada..

Hey. reality check. life is never fair.

but, why don't you make it a conviction, to make life fair for the one you love?

Ever since my mum crumbled, i made my conviction on the spot.

Ever since i met Ivan, i expanded my capacity by making the same conviction.

and even more, by doing whatever i can for everybody else.

My life had never been the same ever since i chose to live this way.

It has been driving me to the very limits, every now and then.

but when i give what i have to the one i love, i can feel a sense of fulfilment.

No i don't feel this way when i got for myself a new hairdo, contact lenses, shoes and apparel.
I'm still me. nothing changed.

This is just how love operates. Frankly if you want to talk about taking advantage, then i would say that i'm one of the greatest fools and victims in mankind's history. yea. that bad. People who just leave you, disappearing into thin air, after you've given your trust, time, effort and money.

i don't regret it. not at all. life's a gamble. just look at it this way.

don't get to be spoilt. it's ok. i'll still love and give.

don't get to spend time with mum all the time. it's ok. i'll still love and give.

my pal ain't even sure of who i really am in his life. it's ok. i'll still love and give.

i can't seem to change who i really am even when bad things happen.

it's just me. and i ain't giving up.

if this were to be DotA, I could be a Lone Druid, Enigma and Silencer man. Complex and contradicting, ostracized in a way, but always strong, and on the good side.

Live on, and love on with me.

They are the Champions.

Woohoo!

Team Solaris has won the inter-house DotA competition this year round! A great cheers to them! they sure did us (Hitler Youths) proud indeed haha..

It was a clean sweep during the semi-finals, where the opposing team had a very awkward draft. thus, the low-hp Solaris team managed to pull off 2 godlikes, finishing with a score of 28-8.

However, the match against the disqualified finalists, team Aqua (or better known as Respar), was not an easy one. Solaris had to split up very badly due to faulty computers (CHSA DotA Challenge will make sure this doesn't happen), communication broke down, and lastly Respar had a better draft in the end.

They were disqualified simply because all the team members did not belong to the same house. but since they insisted on playing on for the fun of it, then so be it.

I will have to openly say that they have a serious lack of sportsmanship. yes, one of their players may be my friend, but that ain't stopping me from stating the truth of the matter. Taunting and pride irks people off, and more importantly disrupts concentration and morale of the opposing players. Such insensitivity is one of the major reasons for Solaris' defeat, but those who were there will explicitly know who fought like real champions.

finishing with a score of 34-19, the whole competition ended at around 7.30pm.

up next, would be another series of tournaments coming up next week. i really hope that i would be able to make it, for i want to give my friends the best of practical support. some friends say that "i'm always behind you!", but yet when you look back, they're so far away that you can't even see their silhouettes. i definitely don't want to be like such a friend of course.

it's definitely a dream come true to be participating in a DotA competition, but since it's not really gonna come to pass, might as well put in passion in encouraging your close ones who share the same dreams.

gonna take a break now. wearing contact lenses for the first day sure is taxing enough.

Real Beauty.

I managed to catch the beginning episode of the 8th American's Next Top Model at 1 a.m. o_o

it's been quite some time i think, ever since season 7, an exciting battle between Caridee and Danielle.



Come to think of it, i really thought Caridee would succeed over Danielle, but i was wrong.

It was really the true beauty deep down inside of her, that Caridee couldn't match up to.



How should i explain it?

Danielle frankly is just an average looking girl with a skinny overall outlook; compared to Caridee, she is definitely unable to win her in that.

But Danielle had more than just fire that ignited so strongly within her. It was her everything revealed to it's fullest perfection.

i have to say that i'm amazed, at how such a person could bring so much life, energy and attraction in her photo shoots. The trainings, make-up, surgery and apparel enhanced what she had, and not cover up for what she didn't.

so the moral of the story is: you are beautiful. it's just how you're gonna bring it out to the max. some people just need a little help to express it out rightfully.



Many said that i'm dull, boring and know nothing much about fashion. but i really do beg to differ.

Fashion is one of my passions, not in terms of career, but more as a leisure. it's something i enjoy doing, being a trendsetter, instead of following behind. Initially i didn't start off really well in this area, but with more window shopping practices and online research, i started to get the hang of it pretty well.

it's not really shown on me, partly because i don't have a really good figure, and that i'm too small sized too. so i just decided to be casual, you know, the usual: black. (Noir in french F.Y.I.)
but of course i want to look good too. i'm working on my figure and saving a little for a new set of outfit every year. haha. a full outfit per year sounds pathetic, but personally i find it is suffice.

Like many designers and image consultants, i invest my dreams in living mannequins. mainly one (find out yourself) will tell you enough about my taste and style; trust me, if it ain't good, i will know it myself doubly confirmed, because he doesn't put on anything that is ugly :D hahaha..

it's just a double coincidence on my side that i do this for other people. i love the person, and i love to beautify, and so i beautify others. and it really works you know.. =/

He is really an average looking guy when i knew him a few years back. He wasn't doing very well financially at that time too, so i decided to share my blessings of material possessions with him. (of course i didn't just stop there.. there is definitely more to life than clothes!) i did give presents to many of my other friends too, just a little more, and a little better, for him haha. not because he is not well off, but because he is fabulous deep within. Je Ne Sais Quoi, i guess...

time passed, and he is more acceptive to new trends, and built up a pretty good figure too. definitely model material; you can see him looking better after each shot.. (guess he needs some assistance with photo-taking though. Self-taken portraits usually don't bring out everything in you because you're doing 2 things at once =/)

yea that's what i mean.. real beauty. any external improvements made just enhanced the radiance within, no matter who you are: student or supermodel.



*Caution: if you're ugly deep down inside, no matter how gorgeous or handsome you look on the outside, the slightest tinge of malice revealed will literally give everything away. it's important to deal with internal changes before thinking about dressing up.



i'm bad with some stuff. relationship flow, management at times, especially casuality and space.

i'm working hard on it everyday, hoping that the relationships in my life will improve.

but nonetheless, i still want to fulfill my passion for trendsetting.



Gonna turn fat Mushmum into a sexy lady plus size model =/

Gonna have a whole collection of top-notch, sharp, avant-garde matched outfits. Why stop only at a few? -_- literally so many clothes produced in this world; someone's gotta put them on..



Need help with a picture? can always ask me.. i'll put you in the best pose ever hahaha..

think i need help for mine la. lousy multi-tasker.



time for bed after a long day's work.. DotA competition later on ^^ it's gonna be exciting.

The Noose

I had received quite alot of verbal mail recently..

First up congrats to Team Solaris in their first victory! Led by Ivan and Hong Jie of course..
Playing 2 more matches on Thursday, such an exciting experience shouldn't be missed ^^



Next, we've got lots of April babies too, including my mum.. wishing all April friends a happy happy birthday haha..



School's starting next week too! Zzz goodbye my holidays.. gonna be my school-work mode again -_- life is back to the uber busy state.
Eh? actually i think it has always been busy..

Oh yes any juniors going to SB apart from Wei Da? Feel free to contact me haha..


Looking for a cheap place to print t-shirts, posters and fliers too.


ok back to DotA. i'll leave all the thinking behind for once.

A very intriguing day.

Oh my gosh i really need to blog my brains out today.



too many people have got me thinking! =_= frills up my brows literally..





Firstly, is my customer experience today at work..

i met a Russian lady, pretty paunchy in size, as she strolled into the store. i wasn't attending to her until i was told to, for i was busy previously. i came to realise that she didn't understand a single word i said after she babbled to me in a gibberish tongue after i greeted her. -_-



it was hard. no flow at all. zilch.



both of us just sighed after attempting to explain to each other that we couldn't understand what we were speaking. dumb right?



but something in her kept me going, and not to give up. it wasn't her look of distress, but the smile after the frown. i smiled back, and thought of other primitive means of communication.



sign language and Pictionary helped alot alot.. we had so much fun picking clothes and matching them without the use of words, apart from the occasional "ok" and "no ok".. =) there were still hiccups along the way, but she didn't give up, and neither did i. then came to changing her US dollar bills to our currency, and she actually trusted me with her money to change it for her! no customer in the history of Adidas Vivocity has been like her! it was 600 USD for goodness sake, and she smiled, waved her hand along, hurrying me in her language.



she spent a lofty 714 dollars solely on apparel, and even gave me tips! (wasn't supposed to accept any actually, but she couldn't understand a single word of my explanation regarding our policy.. oh well) i couldn't thank this lady enough, for she had brightened my day indeed. this is one unique encounter i will never forget, and on top of that, what she had done has been keeping me in deep thoughts.. (which is why i need to blog my brains out -_-)



I'll vomit my thoughts out later.. hold on..



the next thing was Ivan's shoutout on Friendster.. i had to add new friends and i just came across his new pictures (seems to be getting better after each shot huh =/) and his shoutout.. ok my mind started to churn over what he has said..



"I just realised the magnitude of something. I saw someone repeating "You've changed". Not to me, but to others. I didn't think much about it. But after some thinking... People really do change. Change is the only constant thing in life eh...?"



Then lastly, unexpectedly again, is one of my long lost buddies and SP junior now, Wei Da.



there, on his MSN nickname, wrote: "take the pain out of love, then the love won't exist."







ARGH..!! exploded.

*7 Hours Later..*

okay. fresh awake. but clean forgotten about how to express myself in words.

can a kind soul lend me a listening ear? thanks =/

Don't give up on your faith

Love comes to those who believe it

And that's the way it is

Celine Dion

That's the way it is

Cat Fight!

Hey guys i actually had this idea brewing in my mind for quite some time.. Give me your views on this? Lol..

CHSA DotA CHallenge Mini-Event: Cat Fight!

-15 Ladies stand in line to be chosen-

Shendelzare Silkwood
Mortred
Aiushtha
Mirana Nightshade
Lanaya
Lina Inverse
Rylai Crestfall
Akasha
Slithice
Medusa
Luna Moonfang
Traxex
Mercurial
Broodmother? (still a female=/)
Krobelus (the old hag =/)


which team of babes will reign over the other?

a battle not of braun, but of brains and dexterity.

More than just nice racks and sexy teaming; truly a mind-blowing experience that leaves you thirsty for more xD





Sounds funny lol.. but editing will be done la..

so what do you guys think of this? drop me comments haha

Black-listed

my my.. someone just told me that i was blacklisted in someone else's life.

held top few for negative impression?

i've got a big hunch it's my 1% sense of humour.

nah, it's more than just that.



well. that's life you see. you can't have everybody liking or loving you the way you are all the time.

if you think that i'm nice, thank you for the compliment.

if you think that i'm not, thank you still, for your utmost honesty. it's very much appreciated.

personally, i am acceptive of everyone. hey, who am i, to judge one's character?

i believe everyone's unique, and i love them because of this one thing.

yes, flaws can be seen here and there, but i'll do what i can as a friend to take away that mismatch that was never meant to be there.

you're beautiful, and you shouldn't be making ugly things a part of you.



sometimes, i do wonder who i am in people's lives.

the saddest thing of course, is to be blacklisted subtlely by someone you would least expect.

but yet again, that is life.

yet another beautiful thing would be that despite how ugly you are on the inside, someone comes up to you and says: " I don't like you; I love you."

that, is a love so true.

i do feel this way very strongly for some people.

or at least i once did.

time and time again.

though i'm forever meant to be far away, just watching from a distance, i will admire the scenery so warm and sweet.



Hey, don't put yourself so low in front of others when you have no reason to do so haha.

if your life is blessed and fortunate, speak of it. your adventures are more worth listening than baseless demeaning.

then what about me? um.. frankly i'm not very fortunate at this point of time (actually it has always been this way since P3 huh)

is that an understatement? i'm not so sure. but most assuredly, i am fighting the battle to find at least one good thing to thank Daddy God for everyday.



lol. talking about this topic, i think it's best not to put my name down on any kind of lists..

i'll literally bleach it black.

okok that was so not funny.



trying to be a better man each day.

i don't know what to hope for, but won't it be nice if someone told you simply so, that he/she loves you?

beautiful things i'm looking at everyday.



thanks, to all who said that they do, whether now, or back then.

at least i know, that i was once loved.